dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
