Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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