Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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