i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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