We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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