She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
