yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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