We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
