Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
