I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
