I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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