You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm at about main and main street
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
