ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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