She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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