Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize