Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
