whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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