So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
