So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
