I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
