i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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