I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
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If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.