she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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