Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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