I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I think i got beer on your cat.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
