Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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