i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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