"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the condom got lost in my hair
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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