I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
