nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
