At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
