Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
