You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
