..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
