I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i out mim tonsoeep
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