highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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