why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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