Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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