Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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