she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
