Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
