i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
