I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
