and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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