I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize