so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
