I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
