now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
