Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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