please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
