She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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