party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Randomize
