Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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