lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
