so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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