So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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