I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
What a dumb baby whore.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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