You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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