i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There r osticjed everywhere
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
