i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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