So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize