She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
